Author: staxone@me.com

so it’s interesting…almost everyday i am made aware of a phrase/saying that is something only a Trini will understand.  I never realized that no-one else says “ole years”; i knew that Americans don’t, but i thought it was a Caribbean thing…come to find out just this weekend gone that maybe it’s a Trini thing?

Anyhoo, so a friend of mine is having a big lime (get together/party/any social gathering) for old years.  He lives in Raleigh and “D” is coming down to ATL to drive up to NC.  All of us were in Atlanta at some point years ago (Spelman and Morehouse days) and even tho we don’t see each other very often; we are still in touch and this lime promises to be a shitload of good/happy times. Well I’ve known about it for some time and then decided that i will go south instead of north for the occasion.  Suffice it to say that “D” is not happy about the fact that I’m not going (most probably because now he will have to drive up by himself).  He was cursing me out about it last week and it occurred to me that subconciously i’d prefer to in a social setting only if at least 1 of my “inner circle” is around.  Maybe it’s because I know that if something were to go wrong, they would have my back.  Now don’t get me wrong,  “D” is part of the “inner circle” but as i mentioned before, he did allow me to fall TWICE in a party 🙂

I joined the team i’m on at work in March 2007, just before “my episodes” started happening.  By the time they were in full force, i decided that i had to tell my manager something; I couldn’t keep this from her even though we are a virtual team and she was in Arizona at the time.  I told her my “little tale of woe” and she was most understanding and, in fact, it was her encouragement that eventually led me to the discovery of the Multiple Sclerosis Center of Atlanta. 

I’ve spoken to other people who’ve hidden their medical issues from their managers – I’m not a believer in that.  I feel as though, at the minimum, your immediate manager should know what’s going on.  Now, realistically speaking, not everyone may be as understanding as my manager, but i do think that it’s important that they be kept in the loop because u just never know what might happen to you and what u might need from them 1 day.

I am LUCKY!  When i joined the team i was working from home 2 days a week, now i work from home permanently.  Not having to fight with getting ready to go to an office, fighting traffic (MS or no MS, let’s keep it real), having to explain myself to people when things are a little off and a HUGE fear that i have (story for a later posting) are small things that I am grateful for.  I am also grateful for an understanding, supportive manager with whom i can be totally honest every step of the way.

Well, what happens next is that i have to come to terms with this shit!

i honestly don’t remember what emotions i went thru (i can barely remember what i did yesterday, c’mon) but i do know that i eventually told myself that

1. it could be much worse; this wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to me…
2. it is manageable; it was discovered early enuf – I am NOT going to DIE
3. i can/will get thru this

After my diagnosis in 2005, things were quiet/normal even…if not for the bloody shot, i might have forgotten that i had a severe degenrative disease…I used to say, “I am the human, u are the disease – forget u!”…

but then it was April, 2007!!