Disabled in Trinidad

I’m here, I’m here…I really am!

I went home for carnival this year. Back in 2021, I decided that that there was no way that I was going to miss the first carnival after a 2-year hiatus because of the ‘vid. I’m sure that my friends got tired of hearing me explain that I just knew that Trinidad, the land mass, was going to sink because of how many people were going to be on it and if Trinidad was going down, I had to be there to go down with it! I was there for 2 weeks from the middle of February and oh what a time!

I’ve been going home during all stages of my disability, and I always have to do my due diligence w.r.t. where I can go, what I can comfortably do etc. – I love my country, I love going home but it really is not an ideal place for a handicapped person. I was also home in 2020 for carnival and that schedule of fetes plus J’ouvert worked so I figured that I’d stick with the same this time around too. One of the fetes was going to be a new experience but ‘Jel told me that it was held in the stadium, so I knew that was okay because the stadium is flat. Now, I have to admit that the wheelchair service and accommodations in Piarco, the airport, are second to none in my opinion; at least I’ve never had a bad experience. In fact, when I travel within the states, I’m on my own the entire time (from the time I enter the airport to the time I leave the next airport – don’t get me wrong, it suits me just fine) and I’m never escorted anywhere. In those instances, if I need help, it’s actually easier and makes more sense to ask another passenger than the wheelchair people. In Piarco, I’m put in a wheelchair when I arrive, and they send my scooter to baggage claim so I’m with someone at all times and I eh go lie, it really helps going thru the entire arrival process after flying internationally. It’s a BESS experience. When you leave the Piarco walls, however, all bets are off.

When I was growing up, I took taxis or maxitaxis whenever I needed to use public transportation. Luckily for me these days, there are many other options so most times in recent years, I’ve hired drivers to get where I needed to be. This year, the person was a friend of the family, so he had somewhat of an idea of what he’d have to deal with beforehand (we’d never met but my mother gave him the rundown). I must say though that I’ve never had a bad experience with anyone I’d used prior…I always tell them at the time we discuss where I’m going etc. and everyone has been helpful and cool about having to haul the scooter in and out their cars. I haven’t used the Trini version of Uber yet although apparently, one big difference is that riders do not see the make/model of the car in the app. I believe that after you are paired with a driver, they call to give you that information which means that if I ever use it, I need to be with someone who lives there because I may not recognise the make of the car to make a judgment call about whether the scooter will fit in the trunk. All in all, small ting!

The first few times I went down with my scooter, a lot of people stared at me like I was an extra-terrestrial being. I mean STARE and STARE HARD. I remember one time there were people looking, staring, bending the corner to look and see what I was doing. It never bothered me, I never felt self-conscious, and I certainly never let it stop me from doing what I wanted to; in fact, I remember thinking that it was quite funny. I don’t think that anyone meant any harm; they were just curious and one of the reasons is that seeing a disabled person going about their business and doing their thing is just not something you see happening at home. I certainly don’t have the authority to say that we are second class citizens but maybe we are a forgotten/unthought of bunch? One of my Facebook friends who is in a chair living in Trinidad said that the disabled population just isn’t visible, whether by choice or not. The infrastructure also doesn’t lend itself to be accommodating in a lot of instances. Just before I went down, I saw pics and reels of a new restaurant; the food looked delicious, and I definitely hoped to try it when I landed. Yanz was down there before me and she went to scope it out. Well suffice it to say that I scratched it off my list; it was small, tight (not very Optimus friendly) and included a step up to enter. At one of the parties, there were 2 levels and we decided to party on the bottom level. Luckily I had one of my personal elevators because there was no ramp and we had to go down 4 steps (I have an “elite” subset of friends who religiously pick me up and take me up and down steps if necessary whom I call my personal elevators :-)). I always feel nervous for them even though this is normelnormel if we go somewhere and have to negotiate steps. Well, in this fete, for the first time in however many years, J missed the last step and tripped. I have NO idea how he did that but managed to stay upright and not drop me…but somehow, he did! and the story ends here. I must say that on this trip when I went to the grocery with my mother, not a soul paid me any mind (at least, not that I noticed).

The restrooms at these fetes and on the road is another thing that I always need to think about. At the fetes that I attend, picture 3 or 4 trailers of 4 bathroom stalls each. Once again, I used my personal elevator because there were 4 steps to get to the stalls so the attendant let everybody exit and then he took me up. She then kept that trailer off limits to anyone who wasn’t with me. No complaints there at all. Now using the restroom truck J’ouvert morning is a harrowing experience because well…3 or 4 steps. Now, (for anyone who doesn’t know) J’ouvert is a parade through and on the streets of Port of Spain (the capital) so we were constantly on the move. The band had a music truck, a drinks truck and the toilet truck bringing up the rear – constantly on the move. We had to ask the driver to stop the toilet truck for a moment so that J could take me up the steps. I was so nervous because they were narrow and he had to pick me up like a lil child which is not normal at all! We made it though, and then going back down, he went backwards!!! He is my HERO; I’m still in awe at how he did it.

Happy to report that the entire parade route was a non-issue. Of course, I had to be vigilant especially when we pushed off at 4am. I had to keep my eyes open for ankles (I was in the thick of things, in the middle of the crowd) and potholes in minimum light. There was only one close call with the road and I can’t remember the details so all in all it must not have been that bad. One masquerader asked me to take a picture and she told me that she was really happy to see me in the band. Turns out that she is a Physical Therapist and was just really glad to see me out in the band and having a time in spite of my situation. We had a great time on the road and Optimus was a hit with just about everybody in the band (people I knew and those I didn’t) and he survived even though he had to be thoroughly cleaned after. Carnival 2023 is a wrap!

Carnival Chronicles III – The Final Chapter

My flight back to the US was at noon on Carnival Tuesday. I woke up and was moving slowly – I had reached home only a few hours before so I wasn’t ready to wake up but “all good things must come to an end” so I got ready. By the time it was time to leave for the airport I was fine. Boarded my flight without incident and headed back to reality. I remember feeling a little out of sorts but chalked it up to being tired and I think I slept most of the 3.5 hours. About 45 mins before it was time to land, I pulled out my immigration form to complete it. uhm…uh oh! I was having an extremely hard time holding the pen and writing. What the?!? The more I “wrote”, the worse my handwriting got. Eventually I gave up because had I continued the immigration people woulda told me, “eh eh…you go right back where u came from!” I took a deep breath and asked the chick next to me to complete it for me. She was happy to oblige but all the while, I kept apologising because I really felt bad and couldn’t believe it had come to that.

I’m usually the first to board a plane and last to leave. Now because I ask for an aisle chair, they would normally bring it for both the departure and arrival airports but as I mentioned in my last post, I usually tell them not to bother when I land. Also, most times I don’t ask to be transferred to and from my window seat, I’ll just shuffle the 2,3 steps across the other seats to the aisle.  That day when we landed, at first, I could not move (literally). I couldn’t do shit…could barely unbuckle my seatbelt. That’s when I realised that I wasn’t feeling well and appeared to be getting sick. The fellas arrived with the chair and I still hadn’t moved – except to finally unbuckle the belt. They had to transfer me from my seat over to the aisle chair. I just couldn’t get up to walk over. I went as far as to ask the guys to transfer me to SS – I just didn’t trust that I could get on. Shit!!! What fresh hell was this? I was in Fort Lauderdale…I still had another flight to catch 3 hrs later to get back to Atlanta…uh oh. I had to go thru immigration, get my luggage, drive to a completely different terminal, check in, go thru security, get to my gate AND wait three whole hours…the way I was feeling, I knew I wasn’t going to make it on my own.

i asked one of the guys if he would please go with me all the way to my gate cuz I wasn’t feeling well (see, they automatically help if u’re in one of their chairs but because I use my scooter, my ass is grass – LOL – what I mean is that I’m independent so the assumption is that I don’t need help). Well I certainly did that day. I’ve learned that people are generally nice…I’ve never asked for help and received a “no” for an answer…guy helped me with my luggage and walked with me all the way to my next gate. I cannot begin to explain how grateful I was. If only I could have curled up and slept while he waited for boarding time. Finally, after what felt like days, I was back in ATL. Atlanta airport is 5000x busier than Fort Lauderdale so in that airport, I was actually rolling with someone who was pushing a passenger in a chair. By then, I could barely lift my left arm (my problem side) to work the controls of SS – I actually had to use the right to stretch the left to reach the handle. And steering? Especially around corners? It was embarrassing!!! I kept running into doors and all kinda things cuz I just didn’t have the strength. At one point, I actually said to them, “listen. I drive this like a pro normally but I’m not well right now so please bear with me.” It was one of the few times that I actually asked G to come inside the airport to meet me.

Turns out that I’d come down with the cold – just the common cold but here’s the thing about my contracting the common cold (with my already compromised immune system) – my body has to fight (however many more times) harder than a well person and all my “MS Issues” kick into overdrive, so essentially…it COMPLETELY KNOCKS ME DOWN!!! I couldn’t do anything for myself.  I actually had to have someone with me 24/7 for the following week and a half. I was supposed to go to work the Thursday and Friday after I came back. I didn’t…not until Monday, and even then I wasn’t completely healed. It was horrible; I wouldn’t wish my experience on my worst enemy.

Was going home for Carnival worth it? Hell yeah!
What did the whole experience teach me? Next time, I will stay home for at least a week after.  I not rushing rush back…If i’m to get sick, let it be at home!

Allyuh have a great weekend.  I have to go say goodbye to a friend who died last week Friday.  I loved him…even though he used to call me Bert (LOL – I had a uni-brow in those days). Life is unpredictable and tomorrow is never promised.  Live each day like it’s ur last.

Stax

P.S. I’m completely healed and back to my normal self with no lingering effects

Carnival Chronicles II

remember, this was my schedule:

Friday (from bout 4 pm) – PHUKET…it’s Carnival Friday
Friday (whenever after PHUKET) – house lime
Saturday (7pm”ish”) -house lime
Sunday (4am) – Vale breakfast fete
Monday (7pm) – Monday Nite Jammerz night mas
Tuesday (12:30pm) – fly back to the US

I’ve never been embarrassed or self conscious about my walking aides -well maybe that isn’t exactly true, the first few times I had to use my cane it felt weird- but sometimes, especially when I go somewhere for the first time, I feel anxious cuz I never know what I’ll encounter. I was a lil anxious going into Phuket. It was my first time in a Trini Carnival fete – that’s quite different from a party in Atlanta. Anxiety aside, I was with J so I knew that whatever we encountered, it would be alright. We got inside (no line) and everything was a breeze. Not one issue and the venue was flat concrete…perfect!!

Vibes cyah done

We started limin outside but sun was on its way down and the temperature was comfortable. Eventually we moved to the covered area where the party was happening and I was able to manoeuvre the crowd and get to the sidelines without issue. Looking back now, Phuket definitely was my best experience. House lime was no problem…I actually used my walker there so nobody had to deal with hauling the scooter in and out the car.  Saturday morning – no recovery needed.  2 down, 3 more to go…

Next stop house lime Saturday. well, I decided to sit that one out because I wanted no problems Sunday morning (next time, don’t think I’ll skip it). J & S picked me up about 4:30am and we were off. Being disabled has its perks. As we rolled up to go in (line long like hell), I was approached by someone who said, “come with me” and we rolled right to the top of the line and into the party. Now this place was some kind of field -all grass and no shelter/covered area. Luckily the grass wasn’t long enuf for SS to get stuck (rolling in grass always makes me nervous) so it was good and we ended up limin on the sidelines on a concrete strip so no issues.  Party nice.  I saw a lot of people I hadn’t seen in years, drinks was flowing, I ate what I wanted to eat, music and vibes cyah done but, of course, what had to eventually rear its pretty little head?  the sun!!! (reminder: MS +heat or sun=disastrous results).  well I was good until bout 11/11:30am when I started to feel the energy slowly draining from me and eventually, I could do nothing but sit.  I’ve talked about how stubborn I am when it comes to the sun but this time, in my defence, I had nowhere to go.  there was no shade anywhere.  Besides which, crowd was massive; I really didn’t want to navigate it.  I was in rough shape.  I cannot really begin to explain just how mash up I was.

What u cyah tell from this picture is that that position I’m in was the only position I had strength to be in.  I could barely hold up my head up properly on the way out and as I saw the photographer, I tried to wave but – nothing.  u’re also not seeing that J is actually controlling SS (we were driving out at this time).  I couldn’t lift my arms to press the controls so he’s walking beside me driving and steering.  S actually had to lift me into the car and out when we got home.  By that time, I’d cooled down considerably but I was still very weak.  it was 3:00pm (Sunday) then…I slept till 6am Monday morning.

I woke up fresh as a daisy Monday and was ready to go on the road for night mas.  My only concern for mas was potholes along the route – the sun would have been completely down by the time the band pushed off, so that was of no concern (the only other thing that was nagging in the back of my mind was that I’d have to wake up earlier than I’d want (after being on the road) to go catch a plane but whatever, I can sleep on a plane with ease).

I know it lil blurry but some of the “Monday Nite Jammerz”

I wasn’t alone in the band so I knew that we would figure out whatever we encountered along the way.  I had no worries.  there was 1 pothole that I went in by mistake that was a little jarring because I was standing and didn’t see it but other than that? no issues.  I got home about 3something maybe? I really have no idea…

Woke up the next morning and “Party Done”.  Carnival 2017 was over (for me).  I’d had a great time and emerged unscathed.  it was time to head back to reality.  What did I learn from the experience?  MS/Schmemess. Next time I adding at least one more fete to the agenda!

Carnival Chronicles I

They rhelly say “never say never” in trute. I was reminded of this post the other day. Lol…well…I went home for Carnival in February. It was a trial and error trip cuz I haven’t done Carnival home since 19howlong and certainly not in my diseased state. I knew I had to take it easy and definitely do my due diligence as far as venues for fetes go because, I’ve mentioned before, I love my country but it’s not always the best place for the handicapped.

From the end of Carnival 2016 I started planning. Playing mas was out for sure (sigh) but I was thinking that I could do J’ouvert (cuz it starts at 4am) and/or Monday night mas. Eventually, after a stern talking to with myself, I gave up on the J’ouvert dream because of the crowd – I just didn’t want to take any chances. Fortunately Monday night mas is trying to make a come back and because of that, right now it’s only one band. It was affordable, all-inclusive and small (only bout 250 people). Also, ASal played last year, had a good time and said it was perfect for me (I knew I could trust her; she knows exactly what I need).  I couldn’t ask for more…I signed up.

now for the fetes…which ones to go to? trinidad is hot, scorching hot on some days.  I had to choose my fetes wisely – probably a good idea to avoid anything outdoors, some of the venues were not known or changed from previous years and then, would I know anyone who’d been there before?  If I did, I’d have to explain as specifically as I could what I needed (not always an easy task – I’m so “high maintenance” now. sigh!) – decisions…decisions.  Eventually, I settled on 2. We emailed the organiser of one asking about accessibility (I was familiar with the venue but needed to be sure) and he responded “yes no probs” and I knew someone who’d been to the other venue and it was “Stacey friendly” (apparently) . I crossed my fingers and bought my tickets.  Truth be told I really never thought bout whether or not either was outdoors. One was 2-10pm…I figured we’d get there round 5 so the sun would be going down and the other was a breakfast fete – I paid it no mind.  There was another that I would have loved to go to but I knew that it was OUT of the question because it’s completely outdoors and runs from 12-6ish so by the end (in fact by 2) I would have been dead, so why waste time on that.

I landed Tuesday night. My schedule was:

Friday (from bout 4 pm) – PHUKET…it’s Carnival Friday
Friday (whenever after PHUKET) – house lime
Saturday (7pm”ish”) -house lime
Sunday (4am) – Vale breakfast fete
Monday (7pm) – Monday Nite Jammerz night mas
Tuesday (12:30pm) – fly back to the US

I spaced everything out so the ole body would have time to recover between events, if necessary.  MS be damned…I was ready!

Tuesday night when I got to the house…READY!

 

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